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The internet gives men the chance to be completely anonymous and allows them to “assert their masculinity as far as they want without any consequence," sexual health educator Hannah Rimm tells .
"We live in a world that is literally made for cis[gender] men, so without even knowing it, men feel completely entitled to everything in it, including women."Of course, a lot of men use the internet without harassing anyone, but the point is that there are bad men who are using these outlets at the expense of women.
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I shrugged and told The Artist that I just prefer Tinder—I’m a populist, not an elitist, ya know? (Hence why Raya is often called “Illuminati Tinder.”) The app has been growing in popularity, mostly due to press about its celebrity accounts—Joe Jonas, Kelly Osbourne, Skrillex, the hot one from But do we really believe that exclusivity makes something better?
I voted for Bernie Sanders in the primaries, that sort of thing. Sure, it’s sort of cool to swipe past lesser celebs while drunkenly prowling for sex on your phone, but you’re probably never going to sleep with those people. In reality, Raya is full of C-List models, social-media managers who for some reason have a ton of arty photos of themselves emerging from the ocean, people named Wolf, people whose bios say things like “racing driver living between Monaco and Tokyo,” and, like, a million dudes who claim to be successful fashion photographers, but in reality have less Instagram followers than some dogs I know.
Last weekend, while drinking vodka from a water bottle on Fire Island beach, I was complaining about the pervasive Raya worship to my friend Alan, a 33-year-old filmmaker.
Alan has been in an on-and-off relationship with Raya for more than a year now (currently off).
“If all a Raya date is going to get me is one more Instagram follower, well, I just don't need that in my life.”My experience has been somewhat similar.
I’ve been on Raya for a year, but it’s the only dating app that I’ve never successfully met anyone through, compared with Tinder, Happn, and Bumble, which have all led to various degrees of dating, friendship, and casual sex.
While online dating apps and websites allow people to message each other, this does not hide the fact that they are heavily reliant on visuals.
Even with users describing a bit of themselves like their favorite food, hobbies, and places on their profiles, sexual health columnist Emma Kaywin explains that online dating “sets you up as a photo or short series of photos, instead of a complete, full-blown human with feelings and thoughts.”Whatever your exchange with a person might be, whether it's over Tinder or over text, it's inappropriate for anyone to negatively comment on someone’s physical appearance.
It’s an epidemic that is deeply rooted in pop culture and the media.