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He made fun of me, and I smiled, enjoying the banter.
But then he launched into a barrage of jokes that lasted literally five minutes. On the cab ride home, rather than cuddling with me, he spent the whole ride giving the cab driver a monologue about crazy New York drivers.
My friends laughed at the punch line, but when they walked away, John was visibly angry. Then a pair of hot blondes waltzed in and sat down at the table next to us. Seriously, he'd dropped our conversation to joke with these two women he didn't even know?
As they looked at the menu, one of them said, "Mussels sound good, but I don't want too many." John turned to them. To my horror, he flexed his arm and kissed his bicep. Why was he so much as looking at them when I was sitting across the table, showing tons of cleavage? John was always soliciting the laugh, like a kindergarten boy desperate for a gold star.
He explains that dating is difficult, not only to find someone to date but the logistics involved in getting to the date.
He met his current girlfriend on Tinder and she is accepting both of his disability but also of what is required of her as his caregiver.He was always trying to "own the room," always trying to be the life of the party, always thinking in terms of "material" rather than having actual conversations.And more than that, I was never the center of his attention.I couldn't believe anyone had so much to say about chopstick usage. I tugged on his sleeve, wishing he'd pay attention to me instead of the driver. It's a back and forth." "I was telling a joke," he said."He's laughing," John said, as if I was interrupting some sacred ritual. I realized that for him, he was never interacting -- in his mind, he was always performing.He launched into a second joke, and the sound of silence was overwhelming. Not only was he selling me out for a laugh -- but he wasn't even being true to his own vision. She didn't speak but her arched eyebrow said it all. He came off as confident, but after that night, I couldn't help but notice his constant approval-seeking. But on our third date, the comedian in him reared its head.