Not off the bat, but the guys I want to be spending time with are those who aren’t too scared to allow something to develop naturally.I don’t expect you to be my boyfriend tomorrow, but if you’re more interested in putting up arbitrary boundaries before I’ve even decided whether I like you or not than actually getting to know me, then I think it’s best we don’t see one another.

The popular girls who the boys "liked" back then (whatever the hell that means in primary school) were the girls who would run around and play football with them.

When I shared my realisation with my parents, they confirmed that, sure, a lot of little boys liked girls who could hang.

I met a guy on Ok Cupid who said he was into Russian literature and jazz, so I bought a copy of In the back of my head, I always knew that this wasn’t who I was.

I was able to step outside myself and recognise that this performance I was putting on was full Cool Girl — especially once Flynn laid out the concept in her book.

It was a seriously alienating time — one in which I completely lost myself.

I was so concerned with living up to what I thought these guys wanted that I forgot who Maria was.

But there was a small voice in the back of my head that said, Luckily, that was the voice I decided to listen to. But the more I practiced, the better I got at asserting myself and my wants and needs when it came to relationships.

I met a guy at a bar who happened to be friends with some guys I knew in college.

From the time I was in elementary school, I was aware of the fact that there was a certain breed of woman that straight guys preferred: the Cool Girl.