Like I said, this man and I reconnected in May 2005 when I invited him and his kids to my college graduation.

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Many children don’t think they will ever be ready and many adult children would prefer for their parents not to remarry, but we have to search ourselves and give ourselves permission to do what is right for us as individuals.

For anyone considering entering a blended family, I usually recommend coaching to learn about the dynamics of stepfamilies or at least a few good books or other resources to help in this way.

No sooner had I told him that the annulment was done, did he come to my house and tell me that things weren’t going to work because his kids don’t want it.

I asked why and he said because they don’t want someone with kids.

However, it is usually a wise move and a fair move for the parent to let the children know that they are responsible for this final decision and that they alone will make it.

It is not possible for you to force your partner to see it this way however if you feel that this is the relationship for you and that you are not comfortable continuing in the way it has been going, then you need to let him know how you feel and what your wishes are for the future.

If anything, you can share with him that many people go through this situation and do decide to repartner or remarry and that the ones that have a greater likelihood for success are honest with their kids, are sensitive to their needs, but are also concerned and interested in pursuing a life that brings them some joy and fulfillment as well.

Parents who try to go without just to give more to their children, often end up running out of anything to give so it is absolutely okay, if not essential to take care of our needs as adults which will in turn make us more capable of being there for and giving to our kids.

As far as this other woman is concerned, I would also say that is absolutely fair for you to know where things stand in this regard.