She’s also the creator of this True Love Dates Blog!

I think a big issue with relationships these days is that people (particularly men) separate the idea of a relationship from the idea of a friendship.

They will never be able to give you constructive feedback or say anything that would hint you don’t have every aspect of life completely figured out. You don’t win because if you wish to genuinely improve in an area of life and he or she always tells you everything is fine, you can never grow.

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Having this type of honesty is essential to a relationship – just always keep in mind friends are never degrading or discouraging, either. Imagine that kind of closeness, that kind of understanding, that kind of comfort, with someone who you are also in love with.

It goes without saying that you obviously won’t be going weeks, months, or years without seeing your significant other – but the understood, mutually felt longevity of your relationship provides you both with a secure, solid feeling that provides the comfort of knowing he or she is in it for the long haul. When you are with someone, you are not only friends with them when things are great.

That being said – I have my own thoughts and opinions on the concept of men and women being able to be ‘just friends’ with each other with no tension or desire for something more. Whether or not men and women can be just friends should not separate the two concepts altogether.

You don’t need to choose if you are going to be friends Women have a far easier time deciding who they want to be just friends with and who they would pursue a romantic relationship with, but men tend to group all women together on the ‘potentially romantic’ side, and then just decide their order of desirability.

Someone who is just in it for the sex or as a fling, will not. You’re getting together with your best friend this weekend – oh no! If this happens, eventually we transition over into complacency, and that is territory which is void of energy, romance, or excitement. The reality of it is that this can be the case in much of life.

We cannot fall into this trap, but there is also a good kind of comfort. The good kind of comfort is essential to being honest and open with each other. You will be faced with problems and challenges that you need to figure out Even regular everyday tasks like piecing schedules together and figuring out who is going to pick the kids up from soccer practice which day, who will have dinner ready, and who will get the dog to the vet – become a giant puzzle that two people need to work together to solve. Let’s be real about this – someone who will always just smile and nod will never be honest with you when you need them to.

It can take even longer with friends, as expectations are higher and fear of losing a friend is great. She had a few reasons, none of which I found valid. ” It’s definitely a hard question to get out of your mouth, but asking it may bring surprising answers and a closer bond, especially if the person being asked can feel you are genuine and sincere. Reassure your partner that you want this relationship.

Although there isn’t one “right” way to make the transition, here are 7 tips to go from friend to “in a relationship.” 1. A client of mine told me that she was planning to set her guy friend up with a girlfriend of hers. I helped script the following message which she sent to him: “I have a crazy question for you. Since you started out as friends your level of trust and open communication should be more developed.

Speaking about your potential future together will hopefully strengthen your bond.

Additionally, it will clear up any misconceptions you have. It’s possible that during your friendship you met each other’s family.

Here are some reasons why friendship builds a solid foundation for a relationship: Debra Fileta is a Professional Counselor, speaker, and author of the book True Love Dates: Your Indispensable Guide to Finding the Love of Your Life, and 21 Days to Jump Start Your Love Life, where she writes candidly about dating, relationships, and how to find true love.