But obviously if she’s on the site too, you’re both in the same boat.By pointing out your hesitations, she’s bound to assume you’re an insecure person. If you feel so inclined to explain yourself, wait to do it when you’ve met in person — and be confident about your reasons for joining.

NOT-SO-SMOOTH OPERATOR The scenario: “I recently received a message that said, ‘Damn you’re a pretty white girl, you into muscular black men?

’” — Kristen, 27 The problem..the solution: Aside from the obvious inappropriate nature of the comment to a complete stranger, men should never mention their physical characteristics or their own body parts in an introductory message.

Please make sure you are in a safe space before you text. When you call, be prepared for the advocate to first ask if you are in a safe place to talk.

Always delete the conversation after you finish to ensure that no one else can access your information. Once you are, the advocate will encourage you to explain your situation.

[pagebreak] INSECURE ONLINE DATERThe scenario: “It’s so annoying and a major turn-off whenever a guy has something in his profile like ‘still not sure about online dating but...’” — Randi, 25 The problem..the solution: We get it.

A lot of you are self-conscious about the fact that you’re on a dating site.For example, we’re often asked: “So, what should I do? , like, “a guy told me he was looking for a girlfriend by next year so he’d have someone to split rent with.” Then there was the charmer who told his date about the time he “got wasted, peed and mopped it up with his clothes, and then wore them.” Um, yeah., we’d like to assume you know better than to make mistakes like these.Still, navigating the world of online dating can definitely be tricky—what kind of message is clever, but not creepy?You will never be asked for your name or other contact information, but an advocate may ask for your age and city to find local resources for you.