Okay here goes: “DEAR AMY: I have been dating a widower for almost two months.

He lives out of town but we are spending weekends together.

But there are those who wait out the so-called year deadline of propriety too, and others who buy wholeheartedly into the notion that they must “work at their grieving” to get it all out of their system before trying to move on in any aspect of their lives, dating included. In my opinion, and experience, when thinking about it begins to more of a logistical “how will I do it” rather than a daydream to chase away sadness, you are probably ready to look into it at the very least.

Taking their feelings into account is good, but don’t forget that they have their own lives to mind and should leave the minding of yours to you. Try to avoid a revolving door of dates where underage kids are concerned.

If you weren’t living your life by committee prior to your spouse’s death, don’t start now. Only introduce them to people you feel you have a future with, and when you do, expect them to behave like well-brought up humans. If problems arise with adult children, remind them that they should spend their time and energy minding their own lives.

Our relationship began online, and as friends, but when it was clear to us that this could be more, we deliberately took that step, kept moving forward and haven’t looked back. More widowed than will admit to it try to date at some point within the first year.

Some people even begin dating with weeks or a few months.

You can’t please everyone, and what other people – even your kids – think about you isn’t your business anyway. You don’t tell them how to live or who to love and they don’t have the right to tell you anything either.

Generally, if you have good, supportive relationships with kids, extended family and friends, this will all work out and they will be happy and supportive. Once you hand the keys of your dating life over to your kids, they won’t give them back, and do you really want to be that old man or woman, whose adult children talk to them as though they were small fluffy purse puppies?

As a widower this reader friend found the question to be kind of awful and as such just had to share it (obviously).

Upon inspection Litsa and I found the question to be equally as awful and, although the advice columnist answered gently and with tact, we thought we’d like to take a stab at it ourselves.

3) Be honest about what you want out of dating with yourself and the people you date. If you are in the market for more – act like you are.