And yes, I made a total, textbook fool out of myself in the process (and yes we eventually broke up, probably because I acted like such a loon). I went through my girlfriend’s phone; I acted like a cold-hearted brat whenever her ex was around; and most of all, I was neurotic and snarky and paranoid all of the time. I’ve never once seen any of my three sisters or my mother cry over a person they’ve dated.

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She could’ve stayed in the relationship (like I later did with my girlfriend) and tormented me with her wild jealousy and never-ending neurosis.

She was real enough with herself to say “I can’t handle this, so I’m going to end it.” Otherwise, you’re going to get yourself into a toxic relationship that will be emotionally scarring to both of you.

If she identifies as being a lesbian, and you feel like she’s being flirty with you, she’s probably interested.

If she doesn’t identify as being a lesbian (or someone who is romantically attracted to women), and you feel a more-than-friends connection, you might still be right. Which of course can be super awk, but only if you let it.

I had been the throes of a two-week, intensely lesbian, dreamy, whirlwind, rapid-fire romances with a beautiful fashion designer named Lee.* From the moment we met each other on a rainy, booze-fueled Fourth of July weekend, we were wildly addicted to each other. I’m doomed to a life of melodrama.) “It’s just not fair!

For exactly 14 days straight we had been sleeping with our bodies perfectly intertwined, gazing into each other’s eyeballs for hours and hours on end, passionately tracing the contours of each other’s respective face with trembling fingertips and hot breath. ” I was crying now, thick black mascara tears running down my puffy face. They were just trying to have a quiet, romantic night at a civilized wine bar in Manhattan and instead had found themselves in the company of a deranged lesbian, crying away her black shimmery eye shadow, flakes of mascara falling into her wine as she publically melted down. ” I would huff at anyone who would listen, sticking a cigarette in my mouth dramatically releasing perfectly calculated gray rings of smoke into the air, as I’m wont to do in times of crisis. ” Everything was all fine and dandy until several weeks later I caught a glimpse of her ex-girlfriend at a drag show in Brooklyn.I don’t necessarily know the right answers, if there even are right answers, but I know what worked for me. And if you or someone you know is a budding lesbian (or queer, bisexual, none of the above, or whatever term you prefer), these questions might be a good starting point. How do I know if a woman is interested in me in a romantic way? The truth is, some women who are in healthy, long-term relationships still don’t feel 100 percent comfortable showing affection in public—especially if they’re in a place that isn’t very progressive—while other women care zero amounts what other people may or may not be thinking. Sorry.” Lee’s shiny eyes looked both wet and magnetic as she slurped up the remains of her wine. and Times Square as modeled Winston Cigarettes, her hair all blonde and wild, no makeup on her face, just freaking sun oil.“But—but—but, Sarah* is my best friend in the world! I’m more of a heroin-chic, smudged eye makeup Snow White vixen.You know, all that nauseating LOVE, oxytocin, dopamine-inducing, shit we do when we’re getting high off each other in the honeymoon phase. Needless to say, Lee and I ended our electrifying, short-lived, lesbian love affair, right then and there, over two glasses of Sauvignon Blanc at the straightest bar in the great isle of Manhattan. Look, I’m not a particularly jealous creature, but there is one type of girl that tugs at all of my insecurities in the most profound way possible: The California Girl. My mother is English, but a total California looking sugar blonde.