Okay, it’s time to have an open and frank discussion about the battle of the sexes and the dating game.

It’s far too complex, scary and difficult for mere mortals – so let’s bridge the gap by asking both men and women what doesn’t work when it comes to online dating Dating has gone digital.

We’ve been party to conversations about plot and characterisation that have gone on for hours and not had a single child present, but if you really want to blow a two-year-old’s mind then make them part of the Peppa Family with a personalised Peppa Pig book.

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Please do your own safety assessment before giving these to a child. John Lewis Baby Doll Pushchair: £10, John Lewis If your little one loves dolls, you’ll need a dolls’ buggy, though most two-year-olds we’ve met also enjoyed pushing around an empty buggy, or using it to collect leaves and other treasure as you walk through the park.

As with real buggies though, you can pay anything between a few pounds and a few hundred pounds, and as with real buggies, the child doesn’t seem to care.

This one from John Lewis does the job perfectly well, and gets away from the pinkness surrounding so many doll products.

There is also a larger version with storage space if you have more to spend. Melissa & Doug Stack and Count Parking Garage: £14.99, Argos Here you have 10 different coloured cars that stack into a wooden garage.

By the age of two, most children can speak in simple sentences and follow a set of instructions, making games and imaginative play more gratifying for all involved.

It’s also the age where you’re most likely to be able to teach a child to say ‘wow’ as they open a present.Once they get over the disappointment that this is not a real cake (perhaps turn up with a real cake too? Stuck together with Velcro and coming with a toy cake knife, expect to have to pretend to eat a slice several times over. Tomy Pop-up Pirate: £9.95, Amazon There is something worrying about the gusto with which young children plunge their sword into the barrel of this toy, hoping to be the one to make the pirate jump out.Then again, there’s something worrying about the way young children hero worship gangs of thieves on the high seas.Buy now Verdict They call them the Terrible Twos (just wait until they’re a threenager) but in terms of buying gifts, this is a hugely gratifying age.Everything is exciting and kids have no concept of cost, so one of the smaller presents will excite them as much as something that costs ten times more.Once considered a realm inhabited only by the socially awkward, online dating is now just another tool in the toolbox, no matter whether you’re looking for a hook-up or your soulmate.....