I personally feel very compelled to be in the closet, almost entirely because of our children and for the safety of our professional careers.There are eight kids in our house, and we live in an extremely conservative town in a very Republican part of the South.

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It was later that we discovered there was a term for what we were.

If we need a term, we consider ourselves “poly-fidelitous,” which is what poly’s call those who love more than one person in a long-term, faithful kind of way.

We decided we didn’t want to risk our children being persecuted for our choices.

Also, employment-wise, we are all professionals in our careers and while we do great work, we know that many employers are openly right-wing and openly homophobic (and so we can only guess what they would feel towards us, if they knew).

We learned that if I am deeply in love with him, it strengthens and supports my loving relationship with her (and her relationship with him, too), and so on.

Normally, you think that if your significant other is in love with someone else, it weakens your relationship with them.

Both of us were raised to not even be aware that was a possibility. She was the one who began the conversation about, “What if . I realized I had feelings for her (and for him), all feelings that were completely buried (since it was impossible to love either them like that, right? It was very important to us that every single person was on the exact same page, or there was no way we were doing anything. We really tried to look at this from a number of different angles, including the potential problems we could have, and kept feeling okay about taking another step forward.

Long story short, the three of us began doing more and more things together and it just . Every step forward just felt so right on so many different levels, and doors kept opening up right and left.

She had been my best friend for years, and we’ve always been closer than sisters. And then there was a LOT of open and honest communication, of course.