Rules for dating online
Now that ‘online dating’ is no longer secretive or taboo, it’s officially become a day-to-day part of our lives, whether you or your friends are on Tinder, Raya, JSwipe or just sliding in someone’s DM’s.
But the term ‘online dating’ already feels so dated; it’s not really relevant for our generation.
Let the guy follow you first and don’t let this liking-game go on for too long otherwise you’ll just become Insta-friends rather than sexy friends. Irrespective of what people say, whether he takes you out for dinner, for a drink, whether its 10am or 10pm, you’re both there for one reason.
Be clear with what you want and you’re less likely to get hurt and less likely to hurt someone else in the long run.
Don’t play games with people online, don’t fuck their friends and if you’re not interested, tell them– they’re more than just their profile picture.
But now that cuffing season is officially over and spring has sprung, it’s a good time to establish some ground rules, and air out some basic do’s and don’ts. If they’re looking to get laid, they put out a thirst trap, out come the dog-filter Snapchats, the subtly sexual ‘mood’ posts and late-night ‘me rn’ selfies. Wait too long and the match loses the initial surprise and energy.
I asked a bunch of men and women, straight and gay, some questions about how they behave when dating online. Overall, men didn’t seem to care what they post, their profile pics or what women put, when they’re on dating apps they’re simply “on safari”. There’s also an attraction to assertiveness.” Said one of the guys I asked. Other than finding out who each other’s mutual friends are and where their aunt went on holiday last year.
Gays say go for it, fuck on the first date, it’s the most honest thing you can do and you both win.
For girls it’s a bit tougher, double standards and years of judgement mean that women, despite how sexually liberated they might feel, are stumped when it comes to deciding whether to have sex on the first night or not. Some guys will get up, make you breakfast, take you to get a juice (or the morning after pill, depending on your night) lay down the old “I’ll call you later” line and then go AWOL.
A girlfriend of mine was deeply talking with a guy for a few months, who then matched with her best friend, he ended up ghosting her but carried on talking to her best friend.
Of course he must’ve insta-stalked her, he would’ve seen that they were friends.
Gay guys have no problem with this; overall they make it quite clear they want to carry on having sex afterwards and whether or not they’re looking for anything serious.
So maybe what we can learn from all this is quite simple: be honest.
In other words, they’re just looking for that initial physical attraction. And the whole point of these apps is meant to be the immediacy, but weirdly most people don’t even message the person they’ve matched with. If your girl has 200 matches, rest assured she’s probably only spoken to 20 of them. It’s all kinda unnecessary and distracts from the real question.