But most sensible people think it is a bad idea to marry young.There is too much young people need to learn about themselves to know what sort of person is most likely to make them happy.Finding the right person is like trying to fit an unusually shaped peg into a similarly shaped hole.

That means that an applicant can be turned down, or ignored, forty or fifty times in a row without there being anything wrong with his/her application.

The high rate of rejection is not an argument against sending in these applications; it is an argument for sending in more and more of them.

Most people who reach these objectives only do so after repeated attempts. They never have to deal with the awful feelings of unrequited love.

They have never been jilted or disappointed over and over again by meeting one unsatisfactory person after another.

Do not pretend to being more exciting than you are. Of the next batch of people you reach out to, two respond. One of them who has pretended to be well-educated makes a bad grammatical error, and compounds the offence by telling an off-color joke. Since many of these dates are immediately unsatisfactory, there is no reason to make the experience last any longer than necessary.

Try to come across as a serious person who likes to do things and is interested in new things. Since everyone has a tendency to exaggerate, try to seem genuine. You are likely to find four or five people who seem to be appealing. You reach out to them, but only one or two respond; and they seem unenthusiastic. If the two of you are getting along great, you can change those plans.But in the setting of my office, where people are likely to be frank, most tell me that they wonder sometimes how it would have been being married to someone else.I think that those who meet the right person right away are probably unlucky, rather than lucky. In prehistoric times, when human beings travelled in small bands of perhaps fifty to a hundred people, there could not have been much choice of mates.But even then there must have been some choice involved.After all, other animals have elaborate courtship behaviors. (I don’t recommend those that are free since the people on those site are less likely to be financially successful.) Some people, especially some older people, have a prejudice against internet dating.Most of the effortless success that others seem to have is an illusion.