Ever told your Mama something and told her not to tell the rest of the family? You would come home after work (Yes home to your Mum at age 42 because we never leave home) and your three Thies (aunts) are there and your Gran too and the first thing they ask is, "Who is the new man?

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While dating, it is important to remember that family matters to her just as much as it does for you.

So, when she tells you that she can’t go out on Saturday because she has plans with her sisters, chances are very good that she expects you to understand and not get discouraged.

Our parents' and grandparents' favourite phrase to say to the offspring when they're going on a night out, going on holiday, going for a walk, going on a date, crossing the road, ANYTHING.

" Believe it or not, I'm not calling my sister a wanker, but rather, in some twisted affectionate way, "sister".

Spitting for the Greek culture is a way of detracting any form of evil presence, taking the jinx off something and basically not tempting fate."Mum, my new job is going really well! " Mum to me: "You look so beautiful in that dress" Me: "Ftiseeeeee Maaaaaa! When we have instinct to spit, to 'protect' someone and we don't spit, it doesn't feel right. So careful we have the equivalent of fourteen eyes. In particular, my Gran's favourite move: the thigh slap.

Direct translations of our language always make me laugh, and by literally saying "your eyes fourteen", our elders are pre-warning us to be careful.

*currently just listening to Remos and doing strofes. Even if Stavro over there has a natural coat of back hair, sideburns which touch his shoulders and breath like a dried tongue stuck on a cactus in Nevada, if he is Greek, he is a nice Greek boy. If someone is jealous, doesn't like you or even likes you, they can cast the evil eye.

You could be 72, 43 or 21 and you will always be called, the child. The amount of times I've wound my Gran up by telling her that the Greeks didn't create the English language, or Western civilisation or that the Olympics were invented by another country. *in a heavy Greek accent but spoken in English; 'THEE GRIKS CREATED EVERYYYTHING! Oh and before you say anything about the current economic state of Greece, well don't say anything, because if we didn't create the English language you wouldn't be able to say it! (aunt and uncle) There are two types of people in this World. We don't do passion by half measures, and especially not in feeling and expressing the love for our music. Families, especially meddling mothers and granny's try and set up the girls with 'a nice nn Greek boi' since the beginning of womb time! We believe that if someone is envious (in a good or bad way) of you, the evil eye will be cast by him/her, onto you.

"Ekleises kai bikes." (Closed and entered)If you've just turned, in English terms, 35, the Greeks will say you're 36. How many times has my Yiayia told me my fortune by looking at the coffee stains of her 'Eliniko café?